Monday, September 24, 2012

Making One Thing Count

My days either seem to go at a 100 km/h or 2. I'm kind of all over the place right now, so I'm working on finding balance (but loving my placement). Tuesday through Thursday are crazy...I go to football training, then run home, shower up and go out on Home Based Care rounds, come back and eat quickly before helping out in the kitchen for a couple hours for the OVC/After School Program, after that I go to boxing training for a couple hours...dinner and repeat. The only aberration is if we have a training session, as happened last Thursday when we learned about income budgeting and South African insurance. The next four days are usually much slower, but sometimes even more busy if I get invited to a wedding or cultural festival.

I guess finding balance can be equated with finding contentment. Coming here to serve, I always want to be helping or doing or caring. Sometimes though, the events I'm at just need me on the sidelines for a few hours supporting. Other times, I must recharge my battery individually. I'm not always good at allowing myself to do this. Most of the time, my recharging comes in the form of reading books, email discussions about faith and life with other friends/YAGMs, or cooking a good meal. I sometimes think to myself, 'Why am I not doing more?...I could just be doing this in Austin' but I've seen the fruits of personal time manifest themselves in many ways. Some days, I only accomplish one thing (which can be frustrating) but I'm learning to make that one thing count.

On Saturday, one of my patients had a birthday. She's a wonderfully strong lady at 71, but she just had an 8 inch brain tumor removed at the beginning of the year. The care and devotion her daughter puts into looking after her is something that resonated with me when I met their family last Tuesday. I knew I had to bring them a cake on Saturday to celebrate that she survived the past year. The open door policy here is something I'm working to get comfortable with. In the States, most meetings are scheduled. Here, everyone encourages me to pop by whenever. Also, talking and texting are expensive on a missionary budget, so dropping by is something that just has to happend to build relationships.

Saturday morning was rainy and cold. It got nice for a window of a few hours in the afternoon. However, I was in the middle of my South African economics book and started making excuses for staying in. 'It's late, they're probably having their own party...they don't need me.' This internal monologue was motivated from fear about using the open door policy, and worry that my meager cake offering wouldn't be well received. Eventually I bargained with myself to just drop the cake off and jet (I already bought the thing the day before, so I might as well deliver it). God had other plans. Side note: South African weather is very finicky. One can experience all four seasons in a single day. It has already hailed twice here and it's spring! This is exacerbated by Soweto residing on a hill at around 1750 meters above sea level.

Carrying on, I hit the weather window perfectly around 5pm. Gray clouds were rolling in as I made the 5 minute walk, and it was giving credence to my decision to deliver and dash. I got to their house, walked through gate, knocked at the door, then let myself in. The first thing I got were warm smiles and kind welcomes that thawed the chill the weather was putting on my heart. The daughter (a spry 49 with three kids to look after in addition to her mother) relayed that her mother was very happy to see me. She'd been asking about me ever since the last visit. Okay, now I had to stay and chat because these people were just too darn nice. Five minutes into our conversation, as granny was finishing up her cake slice, it started hailing. It was really coming down, made even more intimidating by the reverberation off the metal roof. I originally thought I was trapped, but really I had just been freed to take the time our relationship deserved. We wound up having a great talk that lasted well over an hour, and will make me a much better care giver to their family in the future.

I often worry about the inadequacy of my gifts, or fear rejection. Finally though, I forced myself to let go of that and just do the nice thing I'd been planning. One thing I know about myself, it's safer for me to internalize things and pat myself on the back for wishing others well. If it wasn't the weather, I would have made excuses for something else. I didn't come to South Africa to be passive or to leave with regret. The thing I held onto in bringing my gift was the following truth I came to during reflection: "Nearly every regret I have in life is related to something mean I did to another person, or something nice I could have done but didn't." I only accomplished one thing on Saturday, but it was a very wonderful experience. It was born out of the busyness of working and meeting people during the week. But it was brought to fruition by the stillness of reflection and recuperation. Next step will be learning to release negativity such as regret and worry, but I'm happy with my progress so far. I look forward to carrying out more small acts with great love in the future (maybe Mother Teresa was on to something after all).

Monday, September 17, 2012

Song and Prayer

I whole heartedly love and believe in the power of music. Music is all around me in Soweto. It comes in the form of house music bass bumping through my walls on the weekends, choir performances in church, or Outkast playing through phone speakers as people excitedly share their US music with me. The culture, emotions, hopes, dreams, faith, etc. of a place are all bound up in music and it's something I will reflect on and try to share more as the year progresses. I wanted to quickly share this song as it resonates so perfectly with me and explains the journey I'm on. Here it is. I do not feel helpless or blue at the moment, but the lyrics, thought progression, and tone of his voice hit me every time I listen.

Also, the following prayer was shared via Rachel's blog. She's working at a creche near Pretoria and they sing it every morning. I'll let you go find her blog on the YAGM family page to read more about her time in her own words.

“Father we thank you for the night.
And for the pleasant morning light.
For rest and food, and love we pray,
And others – make them well today.
Help us to do the things we should,
To be to others kind and good.
In all we do, in all we say,
To grow more lovely every day.”

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Settling in Soweto

Hello everyone. Thanks for sticking with me on this blog. This last week has been very busy traveling to and then getting settled in Soweto. The first couple of days were absolutely overwhelming with the combination of reading about all the operations at DAM, shopping in a grocery store by myself, watching it hail in single digit (Celsius) weather, trying to meet/learn names of everyone, and feeling like a fish very very far from any body of water. I'll try to hit some highlights for you in recent days that have seen me far more functional in the community than I was at the start. And, I just realized that I need to take some pictures to help back up my stories. It's a hard balance to strike because I don't want to seem like a tourist running around with my camera but I also need to share with y'all. Here are some orientation photos from Pietermaritzburg to sate your appetite.

On Friday, I jogged to the Oppenheimer tower with a kid named Tshepo. The sh just makes an S sound, and the T in front means you start the S sound with your tongue on the roof of your mouth. He speaks Sotho (pronounced SOO-too), as do most of the people at DAM. I was originally going for a jog since I was feeling cooped up, but I ran by him on my way out of DAM and he told me he wanted to take me somewhere. He proceeded to show me around the cultural village at the base of the tower, then took me to the top. There was a great view of the city as the tower rises probably 8 stories above the trees on a hill in the middle of Soweto. That evening I watched a stand up comedy skit by Trevor Noah which, in addition to being hilarious, taught me a surprisingly large amount about South African culture.

On Saturday, I crashed a wedding. Okay, maybe a slight overstatement, but Elias (my flatmate who works at DAM) and the two German volunteers, Julius and Philip, were the only people I knew in a rather intimate setting of about 60 people. To make things slightly more awkward (though everyone was incredibly welcoming) I was expressly brought to the head table with the bride and groom at the luncheon afterwards. Things loosened up overtime, and I met some Lutheran Youth League members who invited me to a street bash that evening. I had a great time learning to dance the Sushi to South African house music.

FYI, if you attend a church service in South Africa, bring a snack and some water as a precaution. Though the 5 hour service didn't feel nearly as long as it was, I was physically exhausted by the end because I only ate a banana in the morning and I forgot my water bottle. The service was wonderful though. All the songs are a cappella, and in Zulu, and everyone has them memorized somehow. I get to sway along and enjoy the music but I hope to learn a few over time, maybe in a choir! There was a lunch afterwards which was a huge benefit, and then I watched (and participated for a song) as the Youth League mass choir practiced for another hour after church and the lunch.

Monday was a recovery day of laundry and reading, then the fun really started on Tuesday. I'm now working with the Home Based Care (HBC) crew in the mornings and the Orphans and Vulnerable Children (OVC)/after school program in the afternoons. If I can find time, I'll also help produce the newsletter and website content.

With HBC, I get to walk around Soweto visiting homes of patients of all ages, making sure they're taking their medicine, checking up on them, and supporting them with house cleaning or doctor visits as necessary. With OVC, I'm helping find opportunities for the kids to get out into the community with zoo visits or health awareness days when those opportunities arise. Mostly though, I chop vegetables as necessary to cook their afternoon meals, let them touch my beard and hair, and do handstands to keep them entertained. Really though they do far more entertaining with their smiles and nicknames for me. I'm also watching them practice the performances they're working on for an October gala to be held at the Central Diocese.

Two more paragraphs I promise, I've gotten excited about everything coming into place in the last couple of days. Outside of DAM, I met some nice locals named Moeti and Hloks who, in addition to bringing me out to their soccer games, have promised to show me the town in the coming year. They were good friends with the last YAGM here and I know we'll have a great time as the year progresses. Also, I'm training with Julius and four other guys at a boxing gym up the road. I've wanted to try boxing training for a while to see what it's like and because, quite frankly, it looks freaking cool in the movies. The coach is a great speaker to keep everyone pumped up at the end of grueling practice sessions (my forearms hurt typing this post right now) but we work hard and then pray after every session which is a nice tie in to the YAGM program.

And, finally, I just realized that the Africa Cup of Nations (Afcon) will be held in South Africa this year. The final match is at the World Cup stadium in Joburg, so hopefully I can find a way to get in the gate for that match, or at least an earlier one in the tournament. More info here if you're curious.