The Great Thanksgiving

Communities do many things: support, nurture, annoy, complicate, love. I've seen examples of all of these during my time here. On my little YAGM island in Soweto, the complications can loom larger than other positive aspects and make it hard to see the beauty all around me. Thankfully, our program had a retreat over Thanksgiving that motivates the title of this blog and brought 'Gratitude' to the front of my mind (as Rachel has beautifully tattooed on her arm).

We had a wonderful time in Pietermaritzburg and Lesotho, but even before the retreat, Alex and Jen visited me in Soweto. Our three placements are wildly different, and I was blessed to have them around for a couple days to show them the sites and sounds of South Africa's largest township. They reminded me of so many blessings I've had handed to me and friendships I've built around here, and I couldn't help but smile at the wonder on their faces around every turn. On our final night before the larger group retreat, we sat outside and talked while they marveled at constant internet access and the success of our gardening project (which I fail to appreciate even though I see it every day outside my window). I hope to return the favor of a fresh perspective when visiting them in the near future.

My new favorite thing about communities are the different lenses that every person brings to the equation in processing the world. I lament quite frequently that I'll never fully understand the people here because I didn't spend the first 23 years of my life as a black kid roaming the streets in the aftermath of apartheid. It's a barrier that I'll never fully overcome, as much as my academic mind wishes to find a book to explain it to me. But in reflecting and talking with the YAGMs, I realized that the homogeneity of our skin color didn't make our stories as similar as I would have expected, just as my life experiences aren't as distancing in Soweto as I make them out to be. I have so much to learn everywhere, and it's precisely because there's vast difference in the world. Life would be boring if I knew everyone before I met them, and the barriers I was seeing are looking more like invitations to bond and learn. It's what makes stories interesting and powerful. Also why it's so painful to watch the news sometimes when people can't connect because of these differences.

Another thing that community impacts is control. When we were cooking our Thanksgiving meal, I worked really hard not to hover over everything that was happening in the kitchen. You can ask anyone at Tessa's house though, I was definitely stressed. This was for two reasons. One, I really wanted everything to turn out delicious for our group and I found myself making stuffing and carving the turkey (two rather important things I've never done before). Secondly, and more surreptitiously, I realized how attached I am to the way things happen in my family for Thanksgiving. It's my favorite part of the holidays. I love the way my family does Thanksgiving, and as I watched dishes being whipped up differently than I would have done them (while sweating over my potential failure), I was hurting that I couldn't hold on to the comfort of normalcy. Then something amazing happened…everything turned out absolutely delicious. Nothing went wrong despite all my worrying. In fact, I played a much smaller role than my ego would like me to think. And even better, I got to taste life from other traditions, and everyone had something special to contribute. It's impossible to compare to any other Thanksgiving I've had, but it really was a Great Thanksgiving. Not just from the awesome food, but the people, the conversation, the many gifts around, everything about it was incredibly special.

And so I left with a new understanding of this year of service, new goals in mind, and deeper friendships than I had mere days ago. Life looks greener, just like the bus ride through the countryside after two months of rainy season. The paintbrush I tried to use on the world is looking far too thick and dusty brown in color. And the lame metaphors I'm using are running out, similar to the negativity that started at the end of my 'honeymoon' period when I recognized the messiness of the months ahead while getting more attached here.

I hope your stateside Thanksgivings were as blessed as mine, and I wish everyone happy and safe holidays.