Single Stories

Hi All, I’ve been searching for the first couple of days to figure out what to write about beyond just telling stories of new people, new lands, and a new life. I found it on Tuesday when we listened to this TED talk. I’d watched Chimamanda Adichie speak a couple months ago, but it contained even more power in country and in the context we watched it. I highly encourage you to either watch it now, or after reading this blog post.

Digging below the surface story is one of the main reasons I’m on this trip. I want to learn ways to create deeper, more authentic, and more powerful bonds with people. Humans are incredibly deep and rich creatures with complexity worthy of exploration. The word that comes to mind for me in exploring this concept is holistic. One must take care of the whole person for them to be well and functional, and this is an amalgam of many life experiences. Hearing the full story is incredibly important, but also hard to find when battling personal biases, media biases, political biases, and all external factors that try to inform what must needs be a unique and personal relationship.

This is also intimately tied to history. Without understanding how and why people are wired from historical experiences, it is hard to fully appreciate where someone is coming from. History is a definite weakness of mine coming to South Africa, and something I’ve worked to discuss frequently in my first week. Even this can lead to problems. For example the continent of Africa is more than HIV/AIDS, the people of South Africa are more than apartheid, and the USA is more than a consumerism and money. The issues are so deep and numerous that I’m thankful to have a full year to explore the culture and people of Soweto, because this will afford me the time and space to connect deeper and more intimately with my community. Things will not (and must not) be rushed, and my purpose as I currently see it is to liberate the stories and find the discussion necessary to enrich the lives of those around me.

I recognized that through my lens, the concept of a single story reared its head in the form of HIV/AIDS. Learning that I would be serving in an AIDS ministry had me wired to this discussion. I read a couple books detailing the devastation this disease caused to the continent, and it was all I thought about. I attended an AIDS advocacy conference in Washington DC it was so important to me. At the beginning of orientation, we spoke with a leader of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in South Africa (ELCSA) youth league, and Tessa (my country coordinator) asked him what he thought were the three biggest issues ELCSA was dealing with. AIDS was not one of them. I realized at that point that I had been telling myself a single story about how I would be functioning in my future community. Or that he could be telling his own version of a single story. Opening myself up the reality of many issues with differing priorities for each person is rather daunting, but realizing this truth was necessary. There are so many more stories and layers of issues worthy of exploration that I’m now even more excited for what I may find in the coming year.

Tessa’s husband Jon had a very good analysis of the value of the video link I provided above. The three reasons he recognized as to why this is relevant are

1. To acknowledge one’s own struggle with seeing the single story
2. To challenge the lens by which one sees the world
3. To recognize the power of story telling

Maybe this can open the way to discussion in emails you send me, or maybe it will just challenge you to reflection, but I encourage you to seek out how you tell or see single stories in your life. How does this affect the way in which you form relationships, or even who you form relationships with? What methods can you take to reach beyond the single story to find deeper connection with strangers, friends, or even family members?

Orientation Reflection

First, I'd like to share with y'all a cool google map of our South Africa placement sites! Shout out to Tessa (my country coordinator) for putting this together.

Orientation has been a roller coaster that was at times overwhelming, and at times underwhelming, but very powerful. Cool, that last sentence literally described a roller coaster after telling you it was a roller coaster...great start. We've shared vulnerability in telling our stories, sadness in reflecting on wealth distribution and spending on weapons, joy in dancing and singing during worship, pain in saying goodbye (again), excitement for the road ahead. Heady concepts of wealth, privilege, power analysis, and cultural deconstruction were discussed for hours. Surprisingly the talk on insurance and policies left me the most content. The more I tried to wrap my head around things, the less I wanted to, because, quite frankly, heads aren't very flexible.

Mostly I'm struggling with finding balance. We've spent so much time in reflection with such little action, but we're headed to a year of action which may leave little space for reflection. There is importance in both, but they can feel mutually exclusive. How do I live intentionally without losing the ability to release my inner monologue and live in the moment? Eventually I have to do something, but just thinking about things is so much safer. If I'm not doing something, who is?...or who will?...but am I doing the right thing? HOW DO I QUESTION MYSELF LESS? It's hard to convey laughter over the internet, but know I started chuckling after typing that last question.

Don't worry, I'm not questioning my YAGM service. I think I danced the craziest when we finished our sending ceremony last night, because I'm ready to take action. These are questions I'm trying to figure out for the future, to create a paradigm by which I have a consistency in interacting with the world. I'm at the beginning of an experiment. The issues must be raised and hard questions must be asked, but at times I've felt we've ended with so many questions I can't even remember where we started. Even as I ask these questions I have no answers for you because everything is so big, and I've only recently opened my eyes. I guess I'll just share a poem that brings me some comfort, and hopefully over the course of this yearlong journey following God's mission I will find some answers. If I do I will surely write about them.

Passover Remembered
Alla Bozarth-Campbell

Pack nothing.
Bring only your determination to serve
and your willingness to be free.

Don't wait for the bread to rise.
Take nourishment for the journey, but eat standing.
Be ready to move at a moment's notice.

Do not hesitate to leave your old ways behind -
fear, silence, submission.
Only surrender to the need of the time -
love justice and walk humbly with your God.

Do not take time to explain to the neighbors.
Tell only a few good friends and family members.
Then begin quickly, before you have had time
to sing back into old slavery.

Set out in the dark.
I will send fire to warm and encourage you.
I will be with you in the fire, and I will be with you in the cloud.

You will learn to eat new food
and find refuge in new places.
I will give you dreams in the desert
to guide you safely to that place you have not yet seen.
The stories you tell one another around the fires in the dark
will make you strong and wise.

Outsiders will attack you, and some follow you
and at times you will get weary and turn on each other
from fear, fatigue and blind forgetfulness.

You have been preparing for this
for hundreds of years.

I am sending you into the wilderness to make a new way
and to learn my ways more deeply.

Some of you will be so changed by weathers and wanderings
that even your closest friends will have to learn your features
as though for the first time.

Some of you will not be changed at all.

Some will be abandoned by your dearest loves
and misunderstood by those who have known you since birth
who feel abandoned by you.

Some will find new friendships in unlikely faces,
and old true friends as faithful and true
as the pillar of God's flame.

Sing songs as you go,
and hold close together.
You may at times grow confused
and lose your way.

Continue to call each other by the names Ive given you
to help remember who you are.
Touch each other,
and keep telling the stories.

Make maps as you go,
remembering the way back from before you were born.
So you will be only the first of many waves
of deliverance on the desert seas.
It is the first of many beginnings -
your Paschaltide.

Remain true to the mystery.
Pass on the whole story.
Do not go back.

Adventure Everywhere Part 2

Carrying on with the previous tale, I returned from Central America very satisfied and a little tired. Since I got back on a Tuesday night, it was a quick turn around to hop into a car for a 24 hour drive to Wyoming on Thursday evening, but it worked out. Driving straight through was much less difficult than I was expecting, maybe because of adrenaline, as my first real backpacking experience would be in Grand Teton National Park! I went with some good friends from college, and by the time we rolled back into town a week later, my car stank but our time together was amazing.

The days got into the mid 80s but the evenings were nice and cool, overall the weather was perfect. Our original route required climbing gear for snow, which we didn't have, so we followed a trail mapped out for us by a park ranger, and we she did quite well with her suggestions. Starting off, we put in about six miles on Death Canyon Valley. The next day we popped up to Death Canyon Shelf which had a beautiful look out onto the valley we had just hiked. Even on our new route, we had to cross snow a couple times in July!

Here we all are on top of the shelf.

We continued on to Marion Lake, and I completed my backpackers right of passage by skinny dipping in a snowmelt lake. It was cold. We decided to hike straight out 13 miles after spending the night at the lake because my buddy got confused between hot chocolate and oatmeal while counting out our food. Our options were a two full days of hiking on 20 hot chocolate packets and a family sized mac and cheese, or one epic day of hiking followed by dinner at a classy italian joint in Jackson. We chose the glorious feast and were not disappointed.

I have so much more I could say about the bonding on the trip, learning to fly fish, barely avoiding an intense thunderstorm, petting wild marmots, and a bear wrecking a camp a couple miles from us, but I need to carry on. After another 24 hour drive to get one of the guys back for his friend's wedding, I had a full two days to get ready for the ELCA national youth gathering in New Orleans (the theme of the summer was quick turnarounds!).

I went in with zero expectations, and was completely blown away by how amazing the event was. My role was as a Servant Companion. We led congregations from all over the US on service projects throughout New Orleans. After training, I worked with a congregation from West Fargo at a kids camp, and my other project was with a group from Colorado deconstructing a blighted house. My group of servant companions was so fun to connect with, and it was great to see other young adults and high school kids connected with the church. Over 30,000 people attended the gathering, including 10 YAGMs! The compassion, understanding, and openness of the event was impressive, and I was thankful for my time there. It's really hard to put the experience into words, but it was very moving, and helped affirm my connection with the ELCA even though at times I struggle with my faith. Here's a picture of these beautiful people.

From NOLA, I flew on to Washington DC to advocate with a social justice group called RESULTS. Their main focus is ending poverty at home and in the world at large, but with the International AIDS conference taking place on Capitol Hill at the same time, they focused on HIV/AIDS issues this year. It was a great preparatory experience for my service. It will be incredibly powerful when I can look the members of the community I'll be serving in the eye and say 'I've sat with my senators and congressmen and done my best to give you a voice'. Our focus was on making sure the US honors its commitment to the Global Fund to fight HIV, Tuberculosis (TB), and Malaria. Many of the people we talked with from Texas were supportive of our cause, and I have every reason to believe that we will at least fund this program for the next year. The Global Fund is important because it provides antiretrovirals to people infected with HIV, helps communities test for TB (the leading killer of people infected with HIV), educates and provides resources to prevent malaria, and a host of other activities all over the world.

I was able to meet two very inspiring people while in DC. First was Carol, a single mother living with HIV and working in a regional community outreach program in Zambia. Her husband died from AIDS when her kids were young, and her health began deteriorating a couple years later. She was on her deathbed a couple times, but was able to pull through with the help of ARVs provided by the Global Fund. Her energy and commitment in spite of all that she lost because of HIV made me excited to work in Soweto, but also sad that we live in a world where we do not lift up more of our global neighbors. Her kids are at University now, and I'm happy they were able to grow up with such a loving mother. I also got to meet the Princess of Africa, Yvonne Chaka Chaka, while at the conference. She's done great work as a UN goodwill ambassador, and her documentary is wonderful. I don't have a link to the full video, but the trailer is on her website. A picture of us...she's from Soweto!

I was thankful to be home after my travels. On the first day back, we went to Schlitterbahn as a family, and I had the most fun there that I have in years. The next week I worked with my parents leading VBS at our church, which left the week after that for getting ready with doctors visits, immunizations, and my birthday. To those who sent me birthday presents, thank you for your kind cards and well wishes. It was a great summer to seek closure with some old friends, learn more about and connect deeper with the ELCA, and spend time with my family. Next post will update you on my time in Chicago at YAGM orientation.

I'm in Chicago!

Today was the day ladies and gentlemen. I was very flattered my little brother and sister woke up at 4:30 to say bye. Fewer tears were shed than I was expecting (as in none) but I take this as a good sign. There has been so much support from my family, it's been absolutely wonderful. My dad has been on board from day 1, and my mom and I had some really good conversations recently about this service and I know they're both excited for me. I could see it in their faces this morning, and it just helped confirm that this is the right time for all of this to happen. Since they're probably reading this, I love you guys.

Basically I slept through my flights since I got less than four hours of sleep last night. Nothing special, I'm kind of a pro at this whole travel thing by now. Here's our little YAGM shanty town in the airport, waiting to be picked up from baggage claim.

Oh and since I haven't shared a picture of the YAGM family yet...here you go. A couple of these people declined their placements, but they were still part of the discernment journey. As you will see from future photos, I was significantly less hairy here.

Reuniting with everyone (especially my South Africa peeps) has been great. Our Midway bus arrived earlier than the O'Hare bus to the Lutheran Theological Seminary Dorms, so we had a good amount of time to chill and throw my disc around. Interesting how a piece of plastic spinning through the air can attract people and make quick friends. Only sad part of the day was that the box of YAGM t-shirts I designed and had printed for everyone was lost during the flights. But, I just received a call that they'll be delivering it tonight! This is good news since I also threw my winter fleece in the box instead of carrying it with me.

Dinner was a tasty mix of fruit, shish-kebabs, and rice. They also got me a piece of oreo cake since my birthday was two days ago. Worship was powerful as always. Still working on questions of faith and where I stand in the spectrum of certain beliefs, but I know this is the right place to work on all that. I'm consistently amazed at the level of musicianship in YAGM. People will just sit down and play the piano or sing beautiful notes and think nothing of it. There are at least 10 guitars and a couple of mandolins here. Very inspiring group of people to be among. Anyway I'm off to bed since my feet have gone numb while writing this post.

There's a website worth sharing with y'all called ELCA Global Links They post monthly about missionary activity, and you'll see a post from the country coordinator for YAGMs in Malaysia which is actually a link to a link to a pdf, but worth checking out.

Adventure Everywhere Part 1

Here's a quick rundown of what I did this summer, and a highly abbreviated, but awesome, set of pictures to describe it. First I drove up to Colorado to watch the UT Men's Ultimate Frisbee program play in the college national championships. Watching the team get tenth and knowing I could have been out there playing if I was still in school was tough, but it was great supporting all the friends from my time there.

Next my family took a highly relaxing and much needed vacation to South Padre Island. Many great days of drunken revelry (oops wrong trip), I mean bocce ball and Apples to Apples were had. We go there every year but it's always fun and this time was particularly nice.

Next I jetted down to Honduras and El Salvador for two weeks with my good friend Collin and his buddy Koby. Excellent conversations were had about life. We're all at interesting transitional points in our lives and our intersection was definitely one of fate. Here's a description of how we planned the trip:

*Phone rings 3 weeks before the trip, Kyle answers*
Collin: "Hey Kyle, I've called some other people but they're all busy with life and I know you're waiting to ship of to South Africa, wanna go to Central America for a couple weeks?"
Kyle: "Sure, what's the cost?"
Collin: "Under $2,000"
Kyle: "I'm in"
*Koby joins 5 days before we leave after hearing about it during pick up basketball*

While in Honduras, we saw wondrous Mayan ruins at Copan Ruinas,

ate some delicious local food,

released a pregnant boa constrictor into the wild,

ate termites, swam with a whale shark in Utila, and generally had an amazing time. I would like to focus on the whale shark. It was the most awe inspiring thing I've ever seen. At 20 feet long, it was merely an adolescent, but still impressive. There are distinct scenes of it rocketing up alongside our boat while I peered over the edge, it rolling to show me its stomach, and me swimming in its wake that I will never forget. I swam the hardest I could with fins on and wasn't equal to the challenge of keeping up with five effortless tail flicks of this sea monster. In my last post I mentioned no regrets, but I really wish I'd had an underwater camera to share the brilliance.

Carrying on, it was a sad day when Koby had to leave us in Honduras, but Collin and I continued on to El Salvador. We stayed in a beautifully painted town called Juayua and toured a protected forest. Here we are after repelling down a waterfall, no safety waivers required!

My favorite meal of the trip was on this hike. We ate some incredibly tasty food on the cheap the whole time, but our guide packed in a fresh feast that hit the spot perfectly after our long hike. Fresh avocado, papaya, tomatoes, boiled eggs, pineapple...everything had a level of flavor I've never tasted before. I was too busy eating to remember a photograph haha. From there we continued on to Barra de Santiago and spent time surfing on the beach in the buff, reading good books, throwing the frisbee, and enjoying life.

Oof this post is getting long, I've had too much fun this summer! I'll carry on in part 2 with tales from Grand Teton National Park, New Orleans, Washington DC, and scuba certification. I depart Austin for Chicago in t-minus 8 hours. Absolutely amazing. Here's the packing, box of t-shirts will be dropped before heading to South Africa

Patterns, Value, and Vulnerability

Yay birthday post! Okay enough tomfoolery, down to business.

For the uninitiated, I'll be going to South Africa to work for a year as a missionary with the Diakonia AIDS ministry. The program is run through the ELCA and is called Young Adults in Global Mission (YAGM). I'm kind of behind on blogging and I only know for sure I have unlimited internet for the next week, so I'll try to post once a day until I leave the US on August 22nd. This first post is dedicated to why I'm going. Next will be what I've been doing this summer. After that I'll probably post about arriving in Chicago. Then I'll post a little more about what I know of my mission and then a few more updates (hopefully with a picture from a Chicago ballpark!) Without further ado...my reflection on why I'm going:

There are three fundamental things which brought me to YAGM: patterns, value, and vulnerability. All of us establish patterns in our life: what we eat, who we eat with, where we go, how we greet each other, etc. My life as a Christian was guided by patterns. Worship is a highly patterned experience. I became good at going through the motions of memorizing various creeds, songs, Bible verses, etc. It was comforting, but empty. I had so many other patterns dominating my life from school to work to practice to friends, that my investment in faith rarely extended beyond the patterns of Sunday worship. I was out on a boat controlled by autopilot in the currents of life. Until recently, I didn't see the value of propelling my little boat of faith, of exploring my spirituality. Breaking my patterns.

An important concept in business is return on investment. Depending on the time/money/energy you put in, something of greater financial value should come out. Energy and resources spent on school should lead to greater opportunity for wealth down the line. A bank investing in oil should see the price of a barrel increase. Lobbying politicians should lead to more favorable legislation. The value I sought to extract from life conformed to these ideas in almost all I did. My investments sought the financial and achievement values of the traditional American experience. Even faith can have value for the wrong reasons. My faith has often had value for me in appeasing my parents, in volunteering to make me feel better about myself, or in praying for personal gain. All too frequently faith is used for persecution instead of freedom, barriers instead of bridges, and judgment instead of acceptance.

So where is the good news? You know, that little area of the sermon notes you had to fill in for confirmation? The good news is in change. It is in discernment; a conscious decision to commit to a different plan, to the plan laid out by Jesus. A plan greater than oneself, but that requires the presence of each individual to create the whole. This is the African concept of Ubuntu. Until recently, I haven't been fully present in my own life because I haven't been honest with who I am and what I want to accomplish. Thus, I have missed out on community. In fact, I think community is the biggest thing I'm missing and the biggest thing I crave. I am here because I've recognized that my value system was flawed. My patterns didn't involve listening with an open mind and sharing with an open heart. I didn't see the value in every person I met. I'm here to break my patterns and change my values by creating a community with each one of you and with the world at large.

This change fundamentally requires a commitment to vulnerability. Vulnerability is rooted in humility and sharing one's story, then receiving stories from others. In this definition of story, I mean everything. Not just the facts about addresses and accomplishments and jobs, but deeper: hopes, dreams, fears, failures, loves, everything. I've had a filter on my life that didn't allow me to give and share freely and it was suffocating. But it was safe, and I wasn't vulnerable...life was muted. I haven't opened myself to this until recently, so it is an ongoing endeavor. That's why I'm here.

I sincerely hope this post doesn't sound too critical, judgmental, or negative. For me, this post is the most hopeful I've been in quite sometime. Also, these are simply the conclusions I've reached for myself, and they require me to go on this mission trip at this point in my life. Every person comes to a different set of truths and conclusions with the information presented to them, and all are given different gifts to share with the world. I'm so thankful for the family and friends I've had accompanying me thus far, but a deeper, more global craving has awoken in my heart. I regret nothing in the past so long as I get to where I want in the future. Nothing that has happened in my life up to this point can be completely untangled from who I am, what I'm doing, and the motivations for such action. Know that you, dear reader, will be in my thoughts and prayers as I serve the community of Soweto, South Africa through the Diakonia AIDS ministry. Namaste.